that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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