I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
