so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
