i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
