dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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