life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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