So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
