i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Vodka?
Forever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
