wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
