he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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