is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
