Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
