your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
