my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
