Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
