i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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