apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
