So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
