Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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