I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
