I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
