in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
