We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
