11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
