Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
