Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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