real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
