You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
