Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize