Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
