If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
