he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
