Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
