What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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