That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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