Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
