He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
