I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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