so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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