not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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