too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
