just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize
