So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
