It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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