The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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