Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
