Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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