This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
