A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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