I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
