I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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