this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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