Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
