I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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