She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
