just come out here and I will go home with you...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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