I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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