dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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