He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Operation Purity has been aborted
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
