id be glad to
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
