I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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