R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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