i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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