im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
