ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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