Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Found your dick twin last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
