How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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