I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
