Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
