For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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